Day 5

Tuesday, 9/24/19.

Feeling better, even after not eating great yesterday. Probably because the weekend was even worse. BP is lower at 142/88 which is close to normal. Still need to get it lower, told to eat less salt/sodium.

Breakfast: nothing.

Lunch: White rice, ground beef, and vegetables from last night.

Dinner: Unfortunately, taco bell. Hard taco and chicken challupa.

Weight: 358.

Day 4

Well I skipped days 2 and 3 over the weekend and it shows. I’m back up to 357 and I feel bloated and lethargic. In fact, my blood pressure was high and now the doctor wants me to address that. I have to check it everyday and if I can’t get it under control I’m going to have to start meds. It’s all caused by my weight, but if it’s too high I can’t leave ignore it even if I’m losing weight.

Breakfast: Nothing.

Lunch: I’m ashamed to admit, two chicken sandwiches and a McDouble from McDonals. Yikes.

Dinner: Had a slice of pizza from QT on the way home, then had white rice with ground beef and vegetables. Saved some for lunch tomorrow.

Weight: 357.

Marriage Advice

After 5 years of marriage and 5 kids, I feel I have learned a few things about marriage (mostly through doing things wrong).

Above everything else, the absolute best thing you can do for your marriage is to become completely selfless and learn servant-leadership. Always put your wife first, yourself last. However, this is much easier said than done and you will fail often. With that being said, here are some tips to try and get closer to that goal.

  1. Always take your wife’s side in front of others.

    Nothing hurts a relationship more than your wife thinking you don’t support her and that you won’t stand up for her in front of others. This is especially true when it comes to your own family. Even if your wife is in the wrong, you want to discuss that in private. If things are getting heated and you’re trying to calm things down, don’t do it by telling her she’s wrong in front of your family. This will only make things worse, and often times she may be wrong about certain aspects of what’s going on but that doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t valid. If you don’t support her in that time, she’s going to feel like you are putting your family ahead of your marriage. It can be very difficult and it’s something that takes a lot of trial and error. You may upset your family and they may feel like you should be on their side, but your marriage comes before your family and you have to find a way to explain this to your family and set boundaries.

  2. Just don’t lie.

    This is pretty simple, but many struggle with it. Don’t lie, even about small things. If you’re going to hang out with friends, don’t say your doing something else because you think she would be upset if you were hanging out with your friends. She will likely find out eventually and it will make it hard for her to trust you. Even if she seriously would be upset, which she probably wouldn’t be, it’s better to tell the truth and upset her then to lie to her and have her not trust you. If you’ve done something stupid, like forgot to pick up the kids from school, don’t lie and say you got stuck at work. Just own up to it and apologize. Which leads to the next point.

  3. Don’t blame others or make excuses.

    If you get home later from work than usual, don’t blame your boss or traffic. Blame yourself and apologize for not letting her know as soon as you knew you were going to be late. Blaming others shows an inability to take responsibility and makes it seam like you think nothing is your own fault.

  4. Don’t fight about finances

    If you’re having financial problems, don’t let discussions turn into fights. You’re both on the same side and you both want to be financially sound. Don’t blame her for the problems, it’s most likely your fault just as much or more. Blaming her won’t fix anything. Seek outside financial help or figure out how to talk about finances without letting emotion control the conversation. Even if you’re in the worst situation possible, it’s better to have each others help, support, and love while you work through it rather than to add anger, blame, and more stress on top of everything.

  5. Don’t complain when you get home

    It’s easy to want to come home and tell your wife all the bad things that happened that day, but that’s probably the last thing she wants to hear when you first get home. This doesn’t mean you can’t discuss your day, just don’t bring a bunch of negativity up when you’ve been home for 5 minutes. It will make you coming home something to dread instead of look forward to. Also, depending on her day, she’s probably had just as many negative things happen and she’s probably just as tired. If you force your bad day on her, she’s going to feel like she shouldn’t share her bad day to add to the negativity and going to feel like she’s just there to listen to your problems. Obviously, this isn’t an issue if it happens every once in awhile, but if its a constant occurrence its going to cause problems. It takes a lot of work to get your ‘coming-home-routine’ right. You want it to be a breath of fresh air when you come home. If you’re tired, complaining, and defeated every day she’s going to feel like she never gets a break and you’re not happy to be home. This even more true if you have kids.

Day 1

Thursday, September 19th 2019.

I’m starting this post the same way I’ve started similar ones in the past: by saying I’ve tried this before but I think this time will be different. I’m talking about weight loss.

I have been wanting and needing to lose a significant amount of weight for at least the last two years. I would say I have been “trying to lose weight” but really I can’t say that I’ve given it my best shot. I’ve done little things here and there and talked about what I need to do, but I haven’t been consistent enough to make a difference. I’ve said I need to stop drinking anything except water, but haven’t done that. I’ve needed to stop eating out so much, but haven’t. And I’ve said I need to start cooking and planning my meals, but haven’t. If I did these things, I would lose weight even without exercising. But I usually can go a few days or a week of doing everything right and then multiple weeks of doing everything wrong.

So, I am starting again. I am making today Day 1 and will do my best to log my progress in hopes it helps keep me accountable.

Today’s Meals

Breakfast: two pop tarts.

Lunch: Half sandwich, half salad from HEB. 220 calories.

Dinner: Basically corn tortilla chips and then fell asleep.

Weight: 355 (down two pounds since start of week)